this week is a disaster
written at 12:14 p.m. on 12.05.03
I did not attend school today. My mom made me a deal--if I promised to get homework help somewhere, I could stay home and work today. The thing that bothers me is that I am too proud to seek help. I mean, heck, straightA student for the majority of my life with an IQ of 160 and officially deemed a "smarty-pants." I do not want help. I do not need help. I need affirmation, I need motivation, I need anything but help. I will not stoop to a level where I am labeled with a "learning disability." Bah.Doing the homework itself is not a problem. Doing it within the time limit given is the problem. I get so easily distracted. I procrastinate until I make myself sick with stress, like today. I have been hacking and coughing and miserable all day because I wore myself out. I wore myself out wasting time and trying to cram everything in within the least amount of time possible. The thing is, it was not the least amount of time possible.. it became impossible. Yar. I was reading, what was it.. Psalm 46 last night, and that was amazing. I also have a lot of good songs rolling around in my head, such as "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Alone in the Silence" (aka "I Will Praise Him"). Oh, "All Who Are Thirsty" is another song playing through my head. Anyway, I am hoping for more time to just sit and reflect.. after I get this work done. I was watching TV while I was working out today, and I saw a commercial for Office Max. Kristina, if only you had been in that commercial.. dancing around with flaming batons... that would have been priceless. Well, I have already written more than I intended to write, so I should probably stop now. But never fear, "Ah'll be bahk."
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