where the crap is hilarity? adulterous little whore...

written at 7:57 p.m. on 12.05.03

It was about 3:00pm and I was making myself a salad for lunch. (For some reason, I wasn't really hungry up until then.) I was warming up some grilled chicken strips to go on top, and of course this set my dog to salivating like mad. So, since I pity my dog so much (he gets in trouble a lot now that we have hardwood floors.. don't drool on them! don't walk on them! don't breathe near them!), I decided to share my chicken with him.

I walked into the laundry room, where his water and food dishes are. Well.. my contacts are fuzzy, and I could've sworn that the bowl on the left was for food. I guess that's not so! In short, I plopped three pieces into his bowl, only to hear three successive splashes, as each piece sank to the bottom of his water dish. Well, I dropped three pieces in his food dish with the intention of fishing out the chicken in the water side.

I left to go get a garbage can so I could move the pieces of chicken from the water to the trash with the least amount of skin contact possible. However, on the way out the laundry-room door, I heard an odd slurping noise. My dog had snarfed the pieces out of his food bowl and was submerging half his head into his water dish in order to eat the other chicken. It was by far the funniest thing I have seen in a LONG time. It took him a good fifteen minutes to get out the chicken. He had to drink most of the chicken-flavored water to get to the actual meat.. So sad.

Then, later tonight, one of my cats was in the laundry room meowing like heck. I figured that there wasn't any water left, since she'll only drink out of the dog's dish, not out of the cat dish... Don't ask why. Of course, this is a funny matter in and of itself. The dog's dishes are set in a container thingy that elevates them as to relieve back pain. He basically doesn't have to bend over to reach the bowls... Can we say pampered? So, when the cats try to drink out of his bowl (apparently water tastes better with a smidgen of dog drool), they have to stand on their hind legs and struggle to get to the water, especially if the water level is too low.

Anyway, my mom went to go investigate why my cat was screaming bloody mary. She yelled out to my dad, "Hon, could you fill up the water bowl? Callie (the cat) won't drink out of it cuz it's got groobles (sp?) in it of some kind.." I just burst out laughing. If only they knew why the water was gross.. that I was feeding the dog when I wasn't supposed to.. that I can't see.. that I missed the food bowl. My poor cat must be a mind-reader, cuz she glared at me for a good minute while my dad filled up the bowl with clean water for her majesty the cat. Ah.. great fun.

This is probably the least interesting entry of all time, but I don't give a crap. In fact, I hope you feel disappointed for wasting your time on such a stupid story.

In other news, I'm done with Crime and Punishment except for the essay! I'm almost done with my Catch-22 essay, and I did some research for the Inherit the Wind essay. More snores, I know.

I also managed to learn some more HTML today. I always knew how to do tables, but I'm learning the whole <td> and <tr> thing. I'll get it all worked out soon.

Well, who's up for a round of Pyramids? I am! Let's hear it for Yahoo Games! Yay! More ways to waste time.

I can't believe that I have the same personality as Mrs. Heath (the school principal.) I respect her so much.. Our personality makes up less than 1% of the population. Pretty amazing, huh? I bet you might be wondering what that personality is, eh? INFP, for those of you familiar with personality tests. Gotta love Pyschology class.

You know, I said "gotta love" about something the other day, and somebody thought I said "God, I love".. isn't that bizarre?

I'm not looking forward to my meeting with Mrs. House (guidance counselor) on Monday. We're talking about this homework problem that I'm having.. namely the issue of not being able to get it done. She's not the person I was hoping to talk about this with. I'd rather talk to someone who nothing about me at all and wasn't so... slow at getting to the poing. Ha, that sounds mean, but though I love her, I hate people that speak slowly and beat around the bush. Oh well. The earth continues to revolve.

Breaking news: the earth stopped revolving.

So, I guess that's it for this entry. Maybe I'll get back to fixing those early entries that are marred by internet slang and sheer stupidity.

Paul Poynor's a cool kid. I don't know why I just thought of that. We're kinda becoming friends now that we stand next to each other in choir. Man, the sophomore guys are some of the coolest people ever. Well.. maybe except for my brother.. Ha, just kidding. I love the little punk. I just wish he wasn't so eternally crabby. Stupid puberty.

You know, Hilarity has been gone for quite a long time now. I wonder if he's having an affair with someone else's diary. Whore.

To quote the most troubled little pig ever.. "Bah-dee bah-dee bah-dee.. That's all folks!"