flying on broken wings...

written at 3:43 p.m. on 09.07.03

Alright, pardon me while I get a little comtemplative here.

I feel a lot like a baby bird lately. Make that a crippled baby bird. I want so badly to fly by myself, but it's just not happening. Every time I think I'm soaring, I look down to see that I'm still riding. Riding on the backs of my parents. It's horrible.

I can't even wake up to just an alarm clock. I don't have the self-discipline. I just slap the annoying sound away, cursing and muttering, and fall back asleep. My mom or dad then has to come in and wake me, and cursing and muttering at them does not help anything, nor does slapping them.

I'm not productive enough in the morning (I'm not a morning person AT all) to have time to get my lunch packed, so my dad does that.

I could go on and one, but the point is, I'm so dependent on my parents, and it frustrates me to tears.

Anyway, school is off to an "ok" start. I can't even bring myself to say "ok" without hesitating. The teachers are nice, but they're not as great as the originals. Mrs. Spears will never be a Mitchell or a Severson. Miss Scrutchings (or Mrs.?) will never be a Jeffrey. Mr. Dennison isn't Mr. Marsh, but since Mr. Marsh is still there... it's all good.

Yeah, I guess I'm still adjusting. I'm adjusting to the new teachers, the new classes, the new people, .. waking up. Ha, yeah, I suppose waking up once in a while is a good habit to get into...

So, I guess I can get my re-review tomorrow. How nice. My last countdown will be complete. The first day of school is past, and my birthday is, as well, so I have nothing left to look forward to. That blows. Well, September 26, Josh gets ungrounded, and we're going birthday shopping for and with each other on the 28th, so that'll be fun.

Meanwhile, I'm still quasi-grounded. I'm still not able to go anywhere or really talk much on the phone or online, but I'm not under as much pressure from my parents.

I'm also less depressed about my stereotyped image as the smart, nerdy chik. I talked with Christen about it a little today after church about that and my up-and-coming "Bob the Snail." I haven't decided whether this guy is officially Bob or not, but if you're interested, either stay tuned to this diary, or just flat-out ask me sometime.

Well, I'm off to do something scandalous and criminal, but don't tell anyone, cuz I'll get charged as an adult if I get caught now. Bwa ha ha.

Alright, I'm off to see the wizard. Actually, I really am off to see the wizard this time. I'm going to go watch LOTR: Two Towers. Yay!!! I'm filled with joy just thinking about the Frodoliciousness to come...