anybody want to do my homework? i'll pay you!!

written at 10:25 p.m. on 08.27.03

The answer is... no. In fact, I can't even concentrate right now, though I most certainly am trying. My mom is watching TV, and the song "Pretty Woman" is playing obnoxiously right now. Maybe she's watching Pretty Woman... hmm.. Could be. It's just obnoxious! So, I will turn on the handy dandy CD player. It is the number one tool for ignoring people, background noises, and the creature I call my brother.

He's actually off at youth group right now, so I'm not worried. It would be the perfect night to be productive if my mom would just go away, and if my diary wasn't calling to me. It sends me these little telepathic messages that haunt me and fill me with guilt and shame for neglecting it. "You hate me, don't you? You miserable wretch! You shall burn for this, hear me? BURN!" But that's normal, right? Everyone's diary is a demon-possessed stalker, right? Right. I'm not weird at all. No, not weird at all.

So, I got to see Christen at work today! Yay! And I'm really looking forward to chapel this year, actually. We're gonna make this year rock! Whoohoo! More exclamation points!!! Yeah!!!!! Smell the obnoxiousness.

Speaking of work, the other "new" girl at work, Crystelle (prounanced "Crystal"), lives like two minutes away from me, I'm not joking. I'm so overwhelmingly excited. I haven't had a friend that lived this close since second grade. I went to private school in third grade, and ever since then, my closest friends were fifteen to twenty minutes away. That's not so big a deal now that I can drive, but my mom didn't want to make the round-trip twice (to drop me off and pick me up) very often, so I just kinda got used to not hanging out with people. But I'm so excited!! I can walk to her house!! And we get along really well already, and I've only worked with her three or four times. Aaaah! So cool!

Well, Borders was sold out of the better translation of the Inferno that Shannon recommended to me yesterday. My mom went there today while I was at work. Now why she went to Borders instead of the MUCH cooler Barnes & Nobles beats me. Goodness, Mom, have you no sense? "No, I admit it child, I'm an illogical being. Don't try to understand me, or.. I'll ground you some more."

Oh, by the by, Kyle J. and Gabe stopped by to see you Christen, but you were long gone. Kyle bought some Skittles, and gave me a dollar tip for "good waitressing." It's a bummer you weren't around, or else YOU could be the rich one with a dollar. Frank and Crystelle were all jealous. Frank was like, "When are you going to introduce me to your friends? I like money too!" Bwa ha ha.

Dang, I really still haven't talked about anything except my day. It must be time for (insert cool theme music here) "the RANT of the DAY! day.. day.. day.. day.." (Those were the echoes if you didn't catch that.)

Alright, what's a good rant? I have some religion-related rants, but that always starts a HUMONGO debate, and I'm not interested, thanks, but the door is over there. Yeah, so, a good not-so-offensive rant.. hmm.. Oh, here is one of my all-time top ten pet peeves ever: people who can't speak English in America.

I saw the best bumper sticker ever the other day that fully expresses my feelings on this subject: "Welcome to America! Now speak English!!!" Yes, this is America folks. Why the heck are there instructions in twelve different languages on everything from watches to calculators to pencils?! WHY?! If these products are made in the good old USA, WHY aren't the instructions in our own #*$@ language?!?! My goodness. These are just the first steps in a massive plan by the Chinese, Japanese, and Mexican people to take over the world, starting with AMERICA! Heck, I doubt there are five English stations on radios in France, and I seriously doubt that there are four English channels on TVs in Germany. Of course, it probably wouldn't be that bad, since at least American shows are generally well-made. I mean, watching more than five minutes of a Spanish-channel soap opera leads you to believe that there is only ONE background set in the entire Mexican community. Everything that occurs on a Spanish show happnes in front of a cheaply made background that appears in every scene on every show, ranging from the soap operas to the talk shows to the.. oh wait, there aren't any more shows! They only do soaps and talk shows! Variety, folks, is the key to good entertainment. What the crap is the junk doing on my TV, taking up a precious channel that could be dedicated instead to a 24/7 Spongebob marathon all year. Yeah, that would be a lot better. My goodness. At least Spongebob ventures out of Bikini Bottom once in a while. Yeah.

Another thing to rant about. I'm listening to the public radio at the moment, cuz they have some awesome piano jazz goin on right now. But when you say the word "pianist" to fast, it just doesn't sound right, and I don't like that AT all. "Rachel is such an excellent pianist." Say what? OH... yeah. Sure, thanks.

Anyway, I'm done typing for the day, cuz my cat flopped herself over my right arm, and I can barely move it. In fact, it'll probably be nonfunctional and completely asleep within seconds. SO, I'm off to see the wizard, and to continue scowling at the foreign people. ::scowl scowl scowl.:: At least the Elves speak fluent English as well as the beautiful Elvish language. Still no LOTR movie. I don't know what's goin on. The 'rents claim to have pre-ordered it. I don't see any beautiful hobbitness happenin.. I'm getting impatient... WHERE IS MY FRODO?!?!

::If you need me, I'm off looking for my beloved hobbits and that amiable old wizard, and then I'll be taking lessons in Elvish... a little frolicking here and there with various creatures... and I'll be oh so content, so don't interrupt me::