random nonsense about formal

written at 3:58 p.m. on 04.19.04

::Shudder::

I cannot for the life of me stand it when people say "alls." It bothers the figurative crap out of me.

Anywho, .. The play my brother was in went really well on Friday night and on Saturday. My brother didn't mess up his lines or anything, and even though I was seeing the play for the hundredth time, I laughed harder than ever before. Of course, I'm the only person I know who fully understood the plot, but I've watched almost every rehearsal and was practically quoting the lines right along with the actors. "You never grasped her hand or made any protestations of love?"

One of my favorite words that I took away from the play was "zounds." What an awesome exclamation! It's rarely used, so when I start saying it on a regular basis, I can be assured of being original and unique for a short while. Then, of course, it will catch on and be a huge fad and I won't get any credit, but that's ok. Diaryland knows the truth.

Oh man, I put in my retainer this morning just for the fun of it. Whew. Not fun at all. Nonstop pain. I haven't touched the thing in well over six months. I'm pretty sure my teeth are as "crooked" as they were before I had braces, though they were never really bad at all.

Well, formal is coming up on Friday night. I'm excited, nervous, and reluctant all at the same time. I'm excited to have the opportunity to dress up and get all frilly and girly. Though I'm usually not over-the-top girly as far as appearance and personality, deep down I think I have some sort of desire to be like a fairy tale princess. My dad used to tell me stories before I went to bed, but he would make them up off the top of his head. About 99% of said stories revolved around me being a beautiful princess. I guess the image was appealing to me then and has never really gone away. How embarrassing, huh?

Oh yes, I was explaining why I was so flustered about formal. So, I am excited, as I said, and it should be a fun time. I'm sitting at the same table as the ex-Bob-the-Snail, which could lead to any number of situations, as you might imagine. That fact, in and of itself, leads to me being nervous, as well. I kinda want to impress him still, though I don't really like him anymore. I guess it's this need I have to prove myself worthy, which actually sounds really dumb after I write it out. Scratch the idea about impressing him. It'd be nice, but nice in a bonus type of way. I'm also nervous because I do sometimes unconsciously compare myself to other girls, and the dress I bought is nice and all, but it's not as nice as it could be, mostly because I'm not really going with a date. (Ok, so Shannon and I are going together, but that's not a "date" in my book.) I dunno. I'm feeling really dumb being all self-conscious like this, cuz I usually don't give a hang about what other people think. I guess I am human after all. Darn.

The reluctance kinda ties in with the nervousness part, since I'm not sure about what all is going to happen. The night is potentially (and probably) going to be a blast, but it could also potentially be a disaster. I'll put on my optimistic face for today and hope for the best. It's really all one can do.

Hmm. I guess I'm done rambling on like a typical teenage girl about "prom" and girliness. Granted, being a girl I have every right to be girly, but... it's a little out of my comfort zone I guess. And it can just be downright annoying, all the lace and pinkness.

I'm off to do some homework or something exciting. I guess I could go to work eventually, too. I think I'm going to call in sick for the rest of the year. Bob the snail (who is just a snail right now, not a guy) can bring me some chicken soup while I fake being sick.

Wait, one more sidenote before I leave. Someone was talking about Seinfeld or something today and nicknames and something about the name "Cocoa." It brought back memories of when I had an invisible husband named "Cocoa." Yeah, normal kids have invisible friends, I had an invisible husband. I'm not sure that I was ever normal. In fact, I was just telling Shannon today how I used to entertain/annoy people by quoting every line of either Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella when I was four years old. That was when I wasn't doing math books, since apparently I found those more entertaining than coloring books. This has me in the mood to dig out some old home videos and laugh at myself. Aah.. the good old days...