bad pick-up lines, volume 2
written at 7:45 p.m. on 10.25.03
Because it grates against my perfectionist soul to have a Volume One without a Volume Two, I shall publish the long-awaited continuation of the series "Bad Pick-up Lines." These are pick-up lines I get emailed to me daily from eCrush, since I have yet to cancel the account I started there way, way back in the day. Pardon the rhyming there. Anywho, your wait is over, here they are.. VOILA!Bad Pick-up Lines from eCrush.com 1. We've got a lot in common, 'cept you have your phone number and I don't.
2. If I ever get a life, will you share it with me?
3. If we were fractions, I'm sure we'd be improper.
4.I got food stamps -- wanna get married?
5. My psychic said I'd meet the love of my life tonight, but you'll do fine for now.
6. Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to cancel my reservation at the Heartbreak Hotel.
7. If you were a tree, I'd become a tree hugger. (Mr. Marsh..)
8. Do I know you, or is that just wishful thinking?
9. Every minute you don't give me your phone number, God kills a kitten. Please -- think of the kitties. (Can we say.. desperate?)
10. I would ask you out, but pushing you down and laughing would be funnier. (That's my kind of guy..)
11. You look like my fourth boyfriend. And I've only had three.
12. Girl, you look better than a new set of snow tires! (Gee, thanks!)
13. Let's make like candles and go out.
14. You're pretty when I'm drunk.
15. Did your ears pop when you fell from Heaven?
16. Are you a dessert menu? 'Cause you're lookin' sinful. (Yup. I'm definitely a menu...)
17.If you were booze, I'd want to die of liver failure. (Sounds appealing..)
18. I wish I were cross-eyed so I could see you twice.
19. Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster! (??)
20. I'll be your cholesterol, just to find a way into your heart.
21. If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction.
22. Hey, baby, I got four words for you: Hol. La. Day. Inn. (I'd be more impressed if he actually knew four words.)
23. You make me want to wake up every day just so I can see your gorgeous face. (So original!)
24. Your eyes are bluer than the water in my toilet. (That made me laugh, so I'd have to give the guy a chance just for entertaining me.. though I have green eyes..)
25. You look like a pristine goddess fresh from Mount Olympus. What are you doing tomorrow?
26. If you go out with me, I'll stop stalking you. I swear. Scout's honor. (Umm..)
27. Today's Give To The Poor Day, so will you give me your number? (Cuz that makes you rich, right?)
28. If your name isn't Chris, Eric, or Mike, you might have a chance with me! (??)
29. Are you free tonight, or am I gonna have to pay? (*cough cough* WHORE *cough*)
30. Well, you're not hideous. That's all for today folks. I don't even know what to say after all that wonderful hilarity except.. well, it's not surprising that these people are members of an online "i-have-a-crush-but-am-too-shy-to-fess-up" society.. obviously they're not really busy with their girlfriend/boyfriend either. Sigh.. stupidity is so amusing.
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