a spoonful of random...

auctioning virginity? sigh. what is this world coming to...

written at 4:19 p.m. on 06.21.04

Yeah, as I wrote in another diary, Lost in Translation is the worst movie ever. Ever. Fortunately, like I said yesterday, with this Blockbuster program thing, no money was wasted on that piece of crap. Honestly, my mom and I kept laughing at the irony of the title. We were lost. Even the English parts of the movie were horrible. How did Bill Murray get sucked into it?! That's what kept plaguing me. How the heck did it get nominated for anything? Well, maybe someone took pity.

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I finally got a TV in my room. My mom made a deal with me like five months ago that whenever I got my room super clean, I could have her old TV. Well, the boredom of this summer finally ate away at my sanity, and I cleaned my room. Voila, I have a TV. The only thing is, my dad has yet to install cable. So, I have rabbit ear wire things which were chewed on by the cat I had back in kindgergarten. I get really fuzzy channels five and nine, and a somewhat less fuzzy channel seven. The thing is, the TV was messed up when it was in my parents' bedroom, which is why they replaced it. The top section of the TV gets all stretchy, so peoples' heads get all misshapen and funky lookin. Plus, since it sat in the basement for five months, it decided to get even crappier than before. Now, the bottom two inches of the screen folds up and overlaps the two inches of the regular picture. Basically, it looks like this..

my tv sucks

So, yeah. That's just a distorted picture I made, but you get the idea. Right now, I'm listening to the news. Some cook with a lisp is talking about steaks. It's fascinating. I can watch the news, soaps, and Jeopardy. Oh right, and the View, and Oprah and some other crap. It's fascinating. Needless to say, I watch TV elsewhere when I really want to watch TV.

Holy crap, I have to work tonight. And Wednesday. And Thursday and Saturday! And some guy is auctioning off his virginity online. I just heard that on the news. That's freakin disturbing. From the fuzzy picture I'm seeing, he looks middle-aged. That's sad.

Cribbet leaves for college this weekend. It's just another reminder that college is right around the freakin corner. Education is over-rated. Ha, just kidding. It's just over-priced. Oh cool. Now the sound is going on and off on the TV. That's just great.

Hey, if anyone has movie suggestions, I have all summer to catch up on the three million movies I've never seen. Oh, the virginity guy is a British teenager. Eight offers. Top bid is eleven thousand dolalrs. Ip. Op. Blip. Sound. Going. PSHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (That's static.)

I'm off to go stuff my face and head off to work. Hopefully there aren't any customers and I can just read all the books in the "youth" section. I can learn, once again, how to become dateable, how to prepare for college, how to deal with parents, and all sorts of other hilarious stuff.

Someone remind me to rant about Atkins sometime in the near future.

The end!

:: before :: after