today would've been a good day to ban me from writing

written at 10:45 p.m. on 08.19.04

I have a headache. I should not be allowed to update under such conditions. However, Diaryland is being so amiable tonight, I have no excuse for not updating.

Why does my head hurt? Good question. I've been packing for over twelve hours. I tire. My body is no longer willing to cooperate. Everything any other human being does is highly irritating. I just yelled at my brother for no real reason. Ok, he's up past his bedtime playing a game on his computer with the volume cranked up to five hundred decibals.

I found myself singing a choir song today. It's a Latin song. I sang tenor for it at that disastrous concert when the tenor section deserted me.

Pardon the crappy writing today. This headache is well on its way to becoming a migraine. I might be a more rambly and blunt than usual. Deal with it.

I don't want to go to Texas. At all. I want to go to Roosevelt. Of course, this is how I feel every week, and every week Roosevelt sends me something to make me feel even more miserable. This week, I received three emails saying, "You can still apply for this semester!! We would love to have you, Rachel!!!!!"

Poop. I would love to apply! I would love to stay in Chicago! I would love to avoid the disaster that awaits me in Texas. Yar.

I talked about packing already, didn't I? It sucks.

The only thing that has me still smiling is the fact that Sean and I got to hang out this week. In fact, I met him at Starbucks at 1pm and didn't leave his house until 10:30pm. Not for one second did I feel sad or irritated or miserable or stressed out. Ok, I was miserable for one second when my foot started to bleed. I got blisters from walking all over town. They'll heal. The point is, I had a great day. SO great that it still makes me happy, even when I have a migraine and am freaking exhausted. Three cheers for Sean. Heck, fifty cheers for Sean.

Well, I'm out of time, energy, and patience. I suppose I shall just quit for the night. I hope I have time for one last Lord of the Rings marathon before I leave.

I'm realizing now that I won't have time to actually say goodbye to all my friends in person, so if I don't see people before I leave, I love you and goodbye!! I won't be back until Christmas. Four long months from now.. Ok, I don't leave until Tuesday. I can't break down yet. Be strong, Rachel. Be strong.

Ok, I'm done for real now. The end.