my life rocks, and i hope i never forget that

written at 9:46 p.m. on 05.27.05

It has been a while since a good entry happened around here. Sorry about that. I had this entry of enormous proportions typed up and saved on my computer, but I've decided against posting it. To summarize pages of material, I'm confused about my future. Still. I don't know what kind of toll my stupid choices from my freshman year of college are going to have on my summer plans and my fall plans and, well, my life plans. There. I just saved you a lot of reading.

The decision to cut that entry came after spending most of my day yesterday enjoying the one channel that gets decent reception in my room these days. I didn't go to bed on Wednesday night and didn't even think about it until about 4:30am. At that point, I realized that I should just pull an all-nighter and attempt to get my sleep schedule back to this thing called "normal." It didn't work, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The only thing worth doing at 5am was apparently curling up on my couch and watching ABC 7 News. By the eighteenth time Tracy was telling me that the clouds would be gone soon and that the showers we had just experienced were now in Indiana, I was questioning the need to proclaim the weather and traffic every ten minutes. If I cared, I'd have the Weather Channel on. That's what it's there for.

However, I did hear a lot of fascinating stories and was intrigued by everything from the news to Oprah to The View and all sorts of stuff I never thought I'd be watching with any degree of interest. Anyway, I did make it out alive before getting sucked into the soap operas at noon. I gotta say, though, I was incredibly touched by some of the things I saw.

There was a woman on Oprah who had been in an abusive relationship in which her boyfriend shot half of her face off. Amazingly, her one request was that she not be known to the world as the woman with half a face, but rather as the woman who survived. My gosh, I was crying and clapping like.. I never thought I would be. It was amazing.

Much later, I found myself watching a program that had been previewed on the morning news entititled "Family Lost, Family Found." It was this moving program focusing on children being raised by their grandmothers. I'd detail everything that went on, but I'd be rambling for days and in the process would get my keyboard sopping wet with tears.

Anyway, after watching all these people survive things so horrific and so terrible, I could not bring myself to whine at the world that I was having a difficult time finding a color scheme for my web site, that I'm afraid that I won't ever graduate college, and that I'm lost in the midst of hundreds of pressuring decisions. Who cares? I have a great life! I have an amazing mother, a great father, a decent brother, a roof over my head, more stuff than any girl my age could need or really want, an incredible and awesome church family, numerous friends who I wouldn't trade for the world, and everything going for me! Sure, I made my life a little difficult by choosing to play instead of work last year, but.. that's not something to complain about. I used to thrive on challenges, and by golly, that's what this is. It's not a set-back or an obstacle that I can't overcome.

With that pep talk out of the way, I have some cleaning to do, some applications to fill out, and a design or two to finish. Ciao!