this man deserves to die many deaths
written at 12:52 p.m. on 12.29.03
I saw "Return of the King" for the fourth time yesterday. I can quote almost every line along with the movie, and I can make it through the ending without my eyes getting damp. Unfortunately, I was stuck sitting between my dad (a rather large man) and another large man, who sat down next to me two minutes before the movie started. Actually, he was more than just "large," he was obese. His fat was flopping over the armrests, invading my personal space.Well, I could go on for hours about how annoying this man was, but I'll just summarize for you. Not only was his blubber invading my space so that I was pinned in the same position for the entire three and half hours, he was a slob. He and his wife were sharing the largest size bag of popcorn available to mankind. For the first fifteen or twenty minutes of the movie, this man inhaled popcorn like it was the last time he was ever going to eat. I wasn't even blessed to sit next to a quiet inhaler.. no, this man slurped and chomped, giving me the feeling that I was listening to a herd of cattle chewing in Dolby Digital Surround Sound. Needless to say, I was about to slap the man upside his big, fat, balding head. You may think I'm exaggerating this man's animal-like characterisitics. No no no. In fact, he was so intent on shoveling this popcorn into his slobbery mouth that he ended up flinging several pieces of popcorn onto MY lap during the process!! But the fun didn't stop there. While he was inhaling oxygen and popcorn particles, he was exhaling out his rear end.. Yup, the guy farted about five times. We're talking a married man, pushing fifty years old! And the best part was that he had angled himself toward his wife, leaving his butt-aromatherapy aimed right at me. Good gravy. After he finally stopped eating, I settled down and was able to enjoy most of the movie. Near the end though, he got all fidgety and kept scratching the remains of hair on his head while simultaneously snorting and farting and whatnot. All in all, I was almost relieved when the movie was over. I say "almost" because I really do love the movie, and I never want it to end, but that man was just ruining everything. Yar. Well, my design site is almost finished! I've been working on a new look for it for the past three days, dedicating hours to writing and re-writing HTML, editing links here and there, and making sure it's as user-friendly as possible. It's turning into a full-time job! Actually, that's not a bad thing, since I would love to take classes on web design in college, so I could make a hobby-career out of it for the future. In any case, I'm tired of babbling about nonsense, so I'll be off to either update other diaries or to work on my site. Or maybe I'll go see LOTR a fifth time. My goal is to see it at least seven times before it is out of the theatres. I think I said that before, come to think of it. I'm not even old yet, darn it! Ok, I guess this is the end, for now.
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