tales from new life: chapter 1 - killer asians
written at 6:07 a.m. on 09.25.03
I will keep you in suspense no longer. It is now time for the slightly-exaggerated, not-completely-true, but oh-so-hilarious tale of the Killer Asians. But before I begin...:: DISCLAIMER: I have nothing against Asian people. By identifying these people by their race, I am simply trying to give you, the reader, a quick mental picture of the general look of these people. This is based on a true story, but the key word is "based." Now, go away if you are offended by tales of a graphic nature... :: It all started on Tuesday night. I was working my shift at the bookstore, and things were going pretty smoothly. That is.. until they came. I'm referring to three menacing-looking characters. About 5'11, dark hair, dark eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, dark clothes, and shady personalities. They wandered through the open door of the store, acting casual and nonchalant. I could detect their maliciousness the minute they walked through the entrance. The three Asian killers strolled towards the back of the store, to "look through music" I suppose. I could tell, though, that they were waiting. They were waiting for Frank to leave me alone at the front desk. They were waiting for the other customers to clear out. This waiting went on for ten minutes, and I finally found my opportunity to escape. I nearly ran to the back room, using the excuse that I was scoping out shelf spaces for the boxes of incoming stock. Unfortunately, I could only stall for so long before Frank would no doubt come looking for me, suspicious as to my whereabouts. So, with great reluctance, I headed back to the front of the store. On the way up, I passed the murderers, who were now waiting in the cards section, where they were scaring some old lady. I tried to be brave as I headed back up front, but the loud pulsing of my heart must have given me away. Frank was leaving as I was approaching the counter, so I was officially tied down. Can't leave the front unattended. Much to my dismay, the three menacing characters started making their way towards the front. I panicked and moved closer to the phone. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. The slow, but methodical plodding of their footsteps fought against the rythym of my heartbeat. I was holding my breath. Time stood still. Even the old lady stood aghast, eyes wide open with fear. One of the Asians reached inside his jacket, swiftly pulling out.. A cell phone. The three of them waved at me and chimed in a merry "Bye, have a nice night."
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