i've been cheated!

written at 10:19 p.m. on 08.16.03

I could get to work on the Iliad. That would probably be beneficial. One more page on the essay, two pages on the "Death of a Salesman" essay, and two more assignments left. Two weeks. I'm doomed.

BUT, I love this template more than life itself, so I'm happy. I'm sure Mrs. Wright (my english teacher) will appreciate this excuse.. "I didn't finish my summer AP work because I was too busy creating and re-creating templates for Diaryland!" Yeah, I'm sure that she'll forget all about failing me when she sees the beauteousness of the HTMLness. Nessness. HAHAness. Whoo.. I've had too much sugar today. Coupled with the fact that I slept in until 1:30, that makes for total insanity.

Hold on.. I have to pretend for a minute that all the "typing noises" coming from my room are from my hard work on my essay, and not my hard work on this entry. So, if you'll pardon me for a moment, I'll go type a couple of sentences on my essay. In fact, I don't even care if you DON'T pardon me for a moment. I'm still leaving you temporarily.

**INSERT CORNY HOLD MUSIC HERE. FOR A REAL TASTE OF CORNY HOLD MUSIC, CALL NEW LIFE BOOKSTORE AND ASK FOR SOMETHING ABSURD, LIKE A CATHOLIC BIBLE FOR PRESCHOOL BOYS, BLUE BONDED LEATHER, WITH INDEX TABS. THEY WILL PUT YOU ON HOLD, AND YOU WILL WONDER HOW MUCH IT COST THEM TO GET THE OFFICIAL HOLD MUSIC OF HELL. THAT IS HOW TORTUROUS IT IS TO BE PUT ON HOLD THERE. THAT IS WHAT MAKES MY JOB ALL THE MORE FUN. "INATECH, JUST A MOMENT.. INATECH, JUST A MOMENT..."**

Ok, I'm back, Jack. So, let's think of a good rant, shall we? Well, here's a little story-rant for you. ::clears throat:: Ahem.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess. She was under a curse and forced to live with three ogre-like creatures who were constantly calling themselves her "family." Well, it was quite obvious to the princess that her real mother and father could not be so unsophisticated, so primitive, so... not cool. And the creature who called himself her "brother," was obviously of no relation, for he wasn't half as good looking as she was, and though his fellow creatures found him intelligent, she was sickened by his immaturity and his stupidity.

The princess had no choice but to let the creatures follow her around, for she could not escape the curse until the summer after her eighteenth birthday, when she could flee to another country on the premise of seeking "higher education." Meanwhile, the princess went about her life as well as she could, attending church and seeking an education, as well as charming all those in her kingdom with her wit and intellect through the use of her magical diary.

One day, the church announced that it was time for a new pictoral directory to be put out. It had been five years since the last one had been published, and the princess had grown even more beautiful, so she was anxious for all in her kingdom to see her radiant portrait. She let the "mother" and "father" creatures set up the appointment, for she refused to deal with the lowly peasants who were in charge of the operation.

When the day finally arrived for the magnificent portraits to be taken, the princess did her best to dress the creatures as elegantly as possible, so they would not mar her lovely image. After several poses, the artist announced that the creatures could accompany the princess to the next room, where they would choose which of the portraits they wished to have published in the directory.

Of course, the princess looked divine in every portrait, so it was merely a matter of picking the one in which the creatures looked the least hideous. After almost a quarter of an hour had passed, the princess finally chose the most suitable portrait. The merchant, an elderly lady who seemed to be rather well-to-do, considering her well-fed stomach, began to negotiate prices. Now, of course, the princess did not want to purchase any of the portraits, for she did not want to remember her time spent with the creatures. But the merchant was relentless. After half of an hour, the princess finally convinced the merchant that eighty rupees for two small pictures was outrageous. The merchant was offended, but the princess was victorious. The creatures followed the princess out of the building, and they all returned to the palace, exhausted from the bickering.

The princess eventually grew fond of the little creatures, despite their many faults. They all sit around and laugh to this day about the olden days when the princess loathed them. They also have a good chuckle about the exorbitant amount of money that professional artists charge for portraits. They are now happy, if not somewhat odd, family, and they all lived happily every after. The end.

The moral of the story is: professional photographers are charging scandalous amounts of money, and it's just disgusting. What is this world coming to?!?!

Yeah, so if you couldn't tell, that story was based on a true story, a personal experience. In fact, I had so much fun writing that story, I may just chuck one in every entry. The daily adventures of Rachel's true self, the princess. :) Haha, I've really gone insane this time, folks. Well, I'm off to see the wizard. If anybody still reads this diary, I'm still grounded from the internet (this entry is illegal), the phone, the world... I'm grounded from everything until I finish my AP work. SO, that's all folk-like people! (Try suing me now, Looney Tunes. Yeah, I sure out-smarted you!)

THE END!