end of day one, continuation of more memories from the trip
written at 8:04 p.m. on 06.28.03
Well, I still have to catch up on everyone's frugapazillion entries that they wrote in the week that I was gone. I'm too lazy, however, so I'll be doing that some other day. Meanwhile, I'll continue with yesterday's entry. I was copying down what I wrote in my diaryland-on-the-go journal, which I only wrote in on day one. So, I'll just finish copying about day one, and then I'll get on to some of the other interesting stories from my trip... Here we go:**DAY ONE CONTINUED!!** (talking about Indiana and Kentucky)...Same billboards for antique stores, same trailer parks, same amount of blah. The other difference is that Kentucky doesn't fix their roads. Kentucky roads are BuMpY!!!! There is this town in Kentucky called Elizabethtown (I've been there!!) and there was just a sign for it, ...which got be to thinking.. I wonder if there is a town called "Racheltown," or maybe just "Rachel." Then, I wondered if that town would hold a "Rachel Convention" every year. All people in the area named Rachel would meet and celebrate the coolness of the name "Rachel" and the geniusness that comes with the name. Of course, communication would be funny at the convention, cuz when someone yelled, "Rachel!" the whole group would then turn their heads at once, like little prairie dogs. ..Yes.. Ok, while I was writing that little thought, we passed the one, the only, landmark in Kentucky: "The Most Awesome Flea Market in the World!" That's what was painted on in huge letters to this humongo barn place with about three bazillion trucks with pop-up campers attached parked outside. Yes, right here in Kentucky, the most awesome flea market in the world. Woo-hoo! Too bad we couldn't stop! (Smell the sarcasm...). Well, my arm hurts from trying to control the pen and paper on this bumpy road...I quit for now, cuz Kentucky's roads SUCK!!! ***** Ok, so that's the end of what I wrote on the road, besides to jot down a couple notes about things that I wanted to remember to write about. Most of them were inside jokes with my mom. Yes, I have inside jokes with my mom. Mostly about people that we're laughing at...sadly. Like this guy who was sporting a well-fed belly and wearing a horrid striped polo shirt. My mom saw him and wanted me to see his full hideousness from the side, but he wouldn't stand up or turn, so my mom and I decided to call him "stripes." Five minutes later she's whispering, "Here comes stripes...", and I turned just in time to see enough bulge to make me want to lose my lunch. We spent a good five minutes giggling about it. Or the guy who had so much stuff in his shirt pocket that it was literally halfway down to his bellybutton. Or this little girl who was superdramatic.... (to her grandma) "Are you saying... that I can have something?" "Yes, dear. Just one thing." "Really? One whole thing? Excellent!!" Yeah, she did this whole soap-opera thing while talking, it was hilarious. Or this fifty-year-old skank who had enough makeup on to supply five years of the Miss America pageant. Yeah. Oh, all the families that attended this reunion stayed in cabins on Lake Tansi, about five minutes from my grandma's house. Well, one family tented out in my Grandma's yard, and my Aunt Julie and her two kids stayed in my grandparents' camper. ANYWHO, most of the cabins are typical buggy little shacks, but somehow, my family landed the brand new mini-house type cabin. It was so sweet. DVD/VHS player, fireplace, vaulted ceilings, NO bugs, private dock, full deck with furniture and stuff, one bedroom with two beds AND a master bedroom with its own private bath... beautiful kitchen with new appliances, ... It kicked butt compared to the other cabins. The downside was that everybody wanted to be at it all the time. It was nonstop traffic in and out of our "cabin" from 9am-11pm. Bogus. I wanted it all to myself. Oh well. Anywho, that leads me to the story that I really wanted to tell. "The trip to the video store." The nearest semi-decent video rental place is half of an hour from my grandparents' house and from the cabins. But, one day, probably the first or second day of actually BEING in Tennessee, I was in dire need of escaping my two billion little cousins. So, I dragged my dad and brother into the van, and told my dad to go to the video place. Thirty minutes later, still in the boonies, we find the video store/gas station/ice cream place/convenience store. Yeah, and it's about the size of your average gas station. Pretty cramped. Anywho, I was looking to find The Fast and the Furious, cuz I hadn't yet seen it, and 10 Things I Hate About You, cuz I love that movie. So, we go traipsing into this little store, where we nearly toppled onto the manager, this short little Hispanic man. (Race is only noted to give you a mental picture. No discrimination intended.) The guy asks, "How are you folks doing?" My dad says, "Pretty good, and yourself?" The guy, who shall from now on be called Hernando, looks at my dad like he's weirder than he really is, and says, "I'm smoking, hah, how's that?" This is where I shook my head at the oddity of the whole situation. Next, we stumble upon a life-size gorilla statue, fur intact. Yeah, I looked at it oddly and then continued on to find the movies. The movies... one side drama and sci-fi, one bigger side western, one side "adult" and one big side for action. The other half of the room (the movie section was divided into two parts) was "new releases." Now this is the interesting part. You would expect The Fast and the Furious to be under Action. Forget me looking for the other movie for a sec. I spent a good fifteen minutes reading EVERY TITLE under the action section (nothing was alphabetized). I finally realized that it wasn't there. Nothing seemed to be good on the one side of the video section, so I moved to the new releases. Guess what I found there? E.T., Home Alone THE ORIGINAL!!, Dumb and Dumber, ... NOT NEW RELEASES!!! Well, that's where I found both of my movies, and, besides jumping out of my skin several times when I rounded the corner to bump into Mr. Gorilla Statue, I finally made it out of the video section alive and unscathed. Ha, now to the checkout line, in the convenience store section. My dad went to go look for decaf coffee for a sec, so my brother and I hung out at the counter. Guess what they have laying open on top of the counter? Monstrously big knives!! I mean like razor sharp machete type huge big old blades ready to kill some poor little three year old who wanders up and grabs one!! They're ready for the killing!! Heck, I could've robbed the guy before he could've said "How stupid can I get?!" Doy. Anywho, this place was a mess. I'm sooo glad that my dad went back to drop them back off later. I couldn't stand any more of Hernando and his "new release" movies and weird monkeys and macho knives. Yuk. Anywho, I'm getting sick of explaining the "memories," even though I'll one day look back and smile fondly at these entries,.. but for now, I'm calling it quits. Kyle called and my dad, I guess, said that I was gone, even though I'm not and haven't been all day, sooooo, I'm gonna go call him back, cuz I haven't talked to my little bob the snail in a LONG time. Over a week! Toodles, all you suckers who thought that this diary would provide you with entertainment. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I wish I could insert an evil cackling sound on my page... say, the sound from the Wicked Witch of the who cackled oh-so-marvelously. "I'm going to get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too." "Ah, how I love the smell of genius!" - Dexter (from Dexter's Lab)
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