somebody shut me up - i'm annoying even myself

written at 9:59 on 06.17.03

It's Christen's birthday today!!! Happy Birthday, Christen!!! Woo-hoo! Go leave lots of messages in her guestbook by clicking HERE!! Yay! And buy her cool things, but ONLY if you first contribute to the "send Christen to Minnesota" fund. If everyone in the world gave one dollar, ... she could build a house for her and Nick inbetween here and Minnesota AND visit him every day in a new car, though her current car is very spiffy. Anywho, DONATE NOW OR FACE THE ANNOYINGNESS OF 11 PENS AND 12 PENCAPS!! What to do, what to do. Too many pencaps for your own good. How terrible.

It seems that a lot of the times that I attempted to put paragraph breaks into my entry yesterday, something went terribly wrong. AKA, the paragraph breaks never showed up. I guess they're.. BROKEN!! Ahahahahaha. I'm so horribly ashamed, but I'm making so many puns that I can't make myself stop! It's frankly quite embarassing. This is where my dad would say something like "don't call me Frank/Frankly/Frank Lee." Ah, my oh-so-punny-oh-so-not-funny family.

I am over the oddness of yesterday. That book that I was reading, called Watermelon, was really good, but the main character was often portrayed as the victim, which made me feel victimized by everything, so I was "drowning in a sea of self-pity." I hate cliches, but sometimes, there isn't any way to avoid them. Anywho, I read all of Watermelon yesterday, and I totally loved it, though come to think of it, there were things that I would have been kinda squeemish about reading a couple years back. Yes, I have unfortunately flushed a lot of innocence down the toilet. Or maybe I gave it to the poor. I'm not quite sure, but somehow, I'm not the bumbling little innocent fairy that I used to be. I feel more like a gnome right now, come to think of it. A garden gnome. Ugly, bored, fat, lazy, and the butt of a good many jokes. Well, I hate calling myself ugly or fat, cuz then that always raises the "Oh, Rachel, you're not ugly, you're.., you're.. you're just not ugly" argument or the "Don't call yourself fat! My goodness, you're practically anorexic,...if you forget about the kangaroo pouch hanging where your flat stomach should be, you fat little... Oh I mean, you're not fat at all!" argument. Yes, I've been through that enough, so don't start. I'm pretty sure that it's still legal to want to change a few things about oneself. It's not like I've gone off the deep end and started getting liposuctions every day (or ever, for that matter) or anything like that. I don't know why I'm pretending like you're gonna spaz, cuz you probably wouldn't have. I'm just getting paranoid. Probably because last time that I talked to Kyle I spent about ten minutes trying to get him to stop saying "You're not fat!" to me when I mentioned that I had pounds to spare after he had mentioned that he wanted to put on some weight (in a muscular way.) Anywho, it was sweet of him to go all whacko, well at least the first 10 times, but then I realized that I hadn't even called myself fat, and that he had just assumed that that's how I thought about myself. Then I got paranoid and suspicious. And then I gave up and switched subjects. I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that I argue with myself a lot in my head, and in my diary, about things that never would have happened if I wasn't so overreactive.

Oh yeah, I was writing a letter to Kyle yesterday, since it's really hard to break the habit of writing him notes and all that, since he's the only one that listens to all my crap, and so I was writing him about my mom and some of her gruesome habits (I had just finished trying to avoid her exploding all over me about wanting to have online on for one more minute, cuz I was in the middle of a nice convo with Josh on AIM.) and I described her as being an overdramatic drama queen. Now, this is what I noticed about that phrase. I used the same adjective twice in two different ways. I'm becoming redundant and punny in one week! Somebody has cursed me or something has posessed me. Well, actually, I've always been cursed with seeing puns everywhere. Melody, at any mention of the word "pun," loves to tell her little story, in the most exaggerated of ways, about how in the middle of English class last year, Mrs. Van (the teacher) had said something about a "paradox," and me being all sleepy at ten in the morning or whenever it was, I leaned over to Melody and said, "if you have two docks, you have a paradox!! bwa ha, ... not." I was meaning for it to be dumb. I'd heard it somewhere before, except using paradise, and two dice. Yeah. She thought, and continues to think, that I was honestly trying to be witty. I'll admit that I wanted her to laugh, but the point was for us to laugh together at the stupidity of whoever invented it, not for HER to laugh AT me about ME trying to be witty and failing.

*took a little break to go play pyramids at yahoo and forgot about whatever I was talking about.*

Oh my goodness, every time my mom has walked into my room she's managed to crap at me about something. "It's hot up here cuz you and your brother won't open your windows." "That's cuz it's buggy out and I want my lights on so I don't go blind staring at the bad lighting on the computer monitor for an hour or two." "Go to bed and open your windows." I'm seventeen and you're still telling me when to go to bed?! "Whatever, mom."

Goodness. I'm sorry that I rant so much about my mom. She's just... highly annoying sometimes. So much so that I'm tempted to scream and yell in her face like I used to when I was 12 or so, but then I wasn't allowed to do very much when I was 12 because of those little tantrums, so I just bite my tongue and unbite it here. Is it possible to unbite something? I didn't think so. I'm making up words and concepts at the speed of lightning here, folks. I feel like a freak show at a carnival. Like some little man in a dumb suit and a top hat is gonna come give a cheesy announcement that Rachel is here, and the crowd will roar in anticipation, not being able to stand the excitement. What will she do next? Another dumb pun? Another new word? Another attempt at sweetness? Another attempt to be funny? Another dumb analogy? The suspense is killing them!! Suckers.

Sigh, well I'm off to another world. And I suppose it wouldn't be the same if I wasn't off to see the wizard too, but I kinda wonder when that will get old, or if it already has. Ya know?

Yar. OH, before I leave, I suppose I should write about the interestingness of work today. It's the only thing I really did besides read. Oh, and yesterday I went outside to read for an hour, while I simultaneously entertained the dog by playing frisbee with him, and also got a cute, light sunburn. For once I didn't get so freakin red that people thought I was trying out for the part of Sebastian the crab thing on Little Mermaid. Yeah, I've been red red before. Like literally red. No exaggeration. And then I peel off to white white or off white, if I'm lucky. Yesterday, however, I went outside to "tan" in the early afternoon, so the sun wasn't at its brightest and I wasn't in any serious danger. I'm slightly pinker, but not red and not tan, but this kind of thing generally fades to the beginnings of offwhite. Eventually I may actually be classified as beige if I work hard enough. I hate being almost albino. But then again, I can have yet another claim to uniqueness. Like I needed another claim.

Oh, guess who just walked in to my room to say, "You really need to pick up in here. May you could type a little pick a little. Yeah. Pick up. .. That would be now." ***I send her my evilest scowls.***

Ok, back to work. It went by really fast today. I'm getting the hang of things, and I can actually answer the phone and usually can answer the questions asked on the phone. And since Jacob and Frank were on with me today, there was plenty to do, cuz they spent the whole afternoon hanging pictures on the wall for display. So, I got to handle the say 10 customers total that we had today. It was slow business, but I got to organize the behind-the-counter-mess-from-hell a little bit, cuz it was annoying the heck out of me since day one. I can't stand messiness, unless it's in my own room, and there is a definite method to the madness. Anywho, today was a long day, and the only thing of interest was a lady whose car battery had died, and she needed Frank to jumpstart her car. It wasn't nearly as exciting as the Encounter with Miss Priss, but still, good stuff.

Oh, Elizabeth, if you read this, I've signed your guestbook a couple times, and it never shows up, but just to let you know, I've tried. I generally write about in awe I am of your awesome writing skills and about how I can totally relate to, say... having 10 diaries when I was growing up, hoping someone would read them, type of thing. Way to go squishyvan!

Well, I really am getting annoyed with my mom, who keeps coming down cuz she hates me being on the internet. I think she feels threatened that I know more about something than she does. OH well. I really am off to see the wizard now, and to keep reading Rachel's Holiday, another "two thumbs up from me" book by Marian Keyes. She's hilarious, I just must say that. Anywho, I see an end to the rambling, right about....NOW.