my manly voice, beer commercials, and the ultimate homework excuse

written at 7:45 p.m. on 07.30.02

wow, beer commercials on the radio make me sad. think how many there are compared to other kinds of commercials. the only good thing is that they take up space that would otherwise be used by cheap car commercials, u know, the ones that have cheezy jingle that u'll still remember when ur fifty years old. ::shiver:: that's a skary thought, huh? singing the goldfish jingle when ur in ur antique bathtub in ur victorian house that was featured on bob villa's home again.

hmm, well that's enough of one tangent. here's another poem by the same guy, but this one is the ultimate excuse if u don't have ur homework. i'm gonna print it and put it in my locker. maybe i'll laminate it, like a hall pass, but a homework pass...

A REMARKABLE ADVENTURE-Jack Prelutsky

I was at my bedroom table

with a notebook open wide,

when a giant anaconda

started winding up my side,

I was filled with apprehension

and retreated down the stairs,

to be greeted at the bottom

by a dozen grizzly bears.

**

We tumultuously tussled

till I managed to get free,

then I saw, with trepidation,

there were tigers after me,

I could feel them growing closer,

I was quivering with fear,

then I blundered into quicksand

and began to disappear.

**

I was rescued by an eagle

that descended from the skies

to embrace me with its talons,

to my terror and surprise,

but that raptor lost its purchase

when a blizzard made me sneeze,

and it dropped me in a thicket

where I battered both my knees.

**

I was suddenly surrounded by a troop of savage trolls,

who maliciously informed me

they would toast me over coals,

I was lucky to elude them

when they briefly looked away--

that's the reason why my homework

isn't here with me today.

the end-tiggersnail